Sunday, February 22, 2015

Bricks and Orchids

You are a brick. Strong, solid, and immovable. 
You don't let others beat you down,
Or let the wind shake your foundation.
You persevere through the storm.

Then there is me. I am an orchid.
Gentle, fragile, and untainted.
If I'm not careful I am easily persuaded.
A touch from you would break me in two.

Don't break me in two just be being you.

Let Me Sleep

Cars, horns, crickets. Everything I can hear outside the window as I try to fall asleep.
I'll come to school tired with only a couple hours of sleep and you'll ask me why I don't sleep more.
If I could, I would sleep; I love to sleep, I just dread falling asleep.
The anxiety of having to wait to drift off into a slumber is horrible.
I can't stand the thought of tossing and turning for hours on end, unable to turn off my mind enough to fall asleep.
Sometimes I'll get close to sleeping, you know that in between stage where all of a sudden your mom or sister closes the door down the hall just a little too loudly and now those hours of trying to fall asleep are all for naught, you'll be awake at least another two hours trying to recover from that.
It's horrible and not fair. 
I hate when people say they can fall asleep in 10 minutes.
It sounds like more of a dream than I ever get to experience.
All I want is to get in bed at 10 and not be awake until all hours of the night.
Please, just Let me sleep.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Friday, February 13, 2015

A Piece of my Heart



Why does love have to be this way?
Why does it have to hurt when it used to fill me with incomparable joy?
Why does it have to be different now? 
We all know that "we can still be friends" is just a formality, it never really lasts. 
Maybe you'll be friends for a week or two,
But slowly you'll start to fall away from each other.
You realize that you don't know how to be "just friends" anymore.
No matter how strong your friendship was before.
But you know him too well to just let a friendship like that go to waste. 
Yet it does. Every. Single. Time.
You let it happen over and over again, 
Saying "it will be different this time,"
How many times will you say that?
How many times will you let this happen?
Eventually you'll start thinking, maybe its me?
Maybe these relationships don't last because of who I am.
That's the only factor that is the same each time, 
Not the boy, there's always a different one of them.
It's me..
It's all me.
Not you.
Me.
Why me?
I guess it's because love is accepting, forgiving, and patience. 
Not the lousy excuse for love you gave me.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

I Am Human

I am human.
I'm not just some machine,
created to get things done.
I'm more than a robot,
programmed to be precise.
I am human.

Sometimes I stumble over my words.
Some nights I forget to brush my teeth.
Some days I can barely drag myself out of bed.
Sometimes I look at her and think to myself, 
She's perfect why am I not like her?
I am human.

I make mistakes.
I struggle with math.
I don't get perfect grades on everything.
You won't find a 4.0 on my report card;
I don't need one to be proud of myself.
I am human.

I have anger issues.
Some days my anxiety will be too much to handle.
I cry over stupid things.
I've had my heart broken again and again;
But I'll smile it away and ignore the hurt,
Because I am human.

I am human,
Nothing you do or say will change that.
I will continue to fight and grow.
I will change the world,
Just you wait and see.
For I am human.


Friday, February 6, 2015

High School is Overrated

High School didn't meet my expectations.

No meeting the love of my life at a karaoke bar.

No Zac Efron.

No massive posters of the basketball team. (actually I'm okay without this one)

No singing about your feelings, all the time.

No Zac Efron.

I mean I feel seriously gypped.

High School would've been way more fun if it was more Like High School Musical.
Why can't we all just break out into song and dance? Think how fun that would be!?
Basically TV and movies made High school seem much better and worse than it really is. I want Even though we aren't living a high school musical, I'm glad we don't have a "Sharpay" or the "Plastics" at our school. I don't think anyone in the real world would want to handle that much drama. I'm also glad that if we want we can switch friend groups, that if we don't stick to the status quo then our entire school won't shame us for it.

One additional comment: The Wildcats' rival school were the Knights, Lone Peak is the Knight, does this mean AFHS is East High School? If so then that is 100% not fair.

Hey you go listen to this song:

Sunday, February 1, 2015

It's Almost Too Late


Please trust her. She is so much more than you know. Let her do these things. Let her live. Don’t hold her back. Let her experience these things; she’s only this age once. He wont be treated this way in a few years. You think you 're helping her, protecting her, even; but you're only hurting her. Don't do this. She is trustworthy. You need to let her leave the nest, to spread her wings. She is growing eager, restless. She wants to see the world but you aren’t letting her. Don’t tell her she can’t, soon she will believe you. Let her go explore, she will still come back to you for refuge. Please listen, before it’s too late. Before she loses her desire to grow. Please.